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My House is a Mess!
Gabrielle's Journey
Raise Children With a
Wild Streak
My House is a Mess!
by Kim Blum-Hyclak
My house is a mess. I want to get down to the business of schoolwork
with my children, but the clutter is getting in the way. Colorful
Legos® dot the floor like land mines
ready to be stepped on. Books have escaped the prison of the shelves
and lie open, hiding in freedom in the stairway alcove. The box of
craft supplies exploded and the debris lies in creative concentric
circles. The two dishes I left in the sink last night mated. Their
offspring now enjoy the run of the table and the counter top. The
piles of laundry I lovingly folded now lean like a famous monument,
inching their way to the edges of the washer and dryer.
I survey the damage and feel overwhelmed. I yearn for the day when I
can sit at the table with my kids and their lessons and open their
minds to all the wonderful "stuff" the world has to offer, without
the distractions that our daily living heaps upon us.
But after years of homeschooling, I know this is not the dream I
want realized. I am living my dream. The Legos are not just
creations, they are lighthouses. They are modeled after the
lighthouse we visited on a trip to Florida. In one afternoon at
Ponce Inlet, we learned about the inlet and its lighthouse, climbing
its 203 steps to the top. We toured buildings packed with exhibits
and learned about how the lighthouse works and its history, about
lighthouses around the world, about ocean life and what it's like to
be a sailor, about how Cuban refugees escape to America and the
courage it must take.
The books in the alcove had help escaping. There is never a complete
set of encyclopedias on the shelves; my children squander them in
their rooms. The delinquent books in the alcove are the remainders
of the journey my children took looking for Alaska. There is "w" for
world, "u" for universe, "m" for maps, and finally "a" for Alaska.
Along their journey, I know they also found many surprises.
The other books scattered about are the pleasure books that I have
to pry from their hands when it is time for bed. There are the
lighthouse books and my ninth-grader's John Grisham from the
library. There is the young teen book my daughter absorbs, opening
the door to questions and discussions that take place at the dinner
table or wherever she needs.
Out of the creative explosion of the craft box comes a colorful "ojos
de Dios," eyes of God. My son has given me this offering to place
alongside the other gifts of my children's handiwork. Like an
archeological dig, my bookcase and shelves are lined with artifacts
from our various studies. There is the Egyptian pitcher molded from
clay, the heraldry shield with our family crest, the quilt sampler
from our American Girls Quilting Circle. There is pride in their
workmanship and love in their offering.
The dishes were a lesson in science. Mixing water and flour makes
paste. Mixing bouillon and water makes a solution. Heat from the
stove causes a chemical reaction, the liquid of eggs becoming solid.
They are also a lesson in math — figuring the correct amounts for a
recipe and the correct time for cooking. Full meals have been cooked
in my absence, including pasta sauce from scratch. The three kids
help each other and divide the tasks.
The clothes would have been put away if we hadn't had a field trip
to the state park for a program on birds. They would have gotten put
away later, but we had to meet with other homeschoolers for a Lenten
activity. Later that night, they were still patiently waiting to be
tended to, but I was playing Monopoly and reading to my children.
I would like my house to be neat and tidy, but now is not the time.
Webster defines education as "the development of knowledge, skill,
ability, or character by training, study, or experience." He defines
"learning" as "the gaining of knowledge or skill." In our
homeschool, we do this in the distractions of our lives, not
exclusive of them.
My children have taken responsibility for a portion of their
education and taken it out of the boundaries of the kitchen table.
As I write this, my older son does Latin and Algebra in his bedroom.
My daughter is reading on the deck. My third is in the clubhouse
with the dog, writing a story with the words he knows how to spell.
Work is still done at the kitchen table, but most of the learning is
done around the house. And it is done in an environment that not
only encourages, but expects them to be respectful, compassionate,
helpful, and encouraging to each other.
These lessons, now being applied to someone older or younger, or of
another sex, will easily transfer to others of a different race,
culture, or religion. This is what education is all about — taking
what is being learned and assimilating it into their everyday
playing and living. So yes, my house is a mess, but more
importantly, at this point, my children are not.
About the author...
Lancaster resident, Kim Blum-Hyclak, has homeschooled three of her
five children over the past 20+ years. She has seen many changes in
homeschooling over those years and believes homeschooling has been
one of the most rewarding experiences she's had. Kim's youngest is
now a high school senior and is entering his local public high
school for the first time this year. As Kim's years
of homeschooling are coming to an end, Kim is looking
forward to doing more writing, gardening, and learning of her own.
Gabrielle's Journey
by Kim Blum-Hyclak
My daughter, Gabrielle, graduated several years ago. She had been
homeschooled from the beginning, not conforming to the boundaries of
a typical education. As a family, we started our homeschooling
adventure under the philosophy of John Holt, a pioneer in the
homeschool movement. We agreed that children have a natural
curiosity. Given the right tools, environment, and encouragement,
children can learn what they need to know without much "help" from
us. We allowed Gabrielle, as well as her siblings, to follow their
interests and have not been disappointed in their academic
endeavors. Sometimes frustrated, but never disappointed!
While not following a typical "college preparatory" curriculum,
Gabrielle still managed to earn all the necessary credits for
graduation, and more. She had always known that college was an
option, but not the only one. Her interests and her heart had always
been in ministry, and that's the path her high school studies
prepared her for.
After high school, Gabrielle followed her heart and began working in
youth ministry. She was accepted for the National Evangelization
Team (NET), sponsored by the Catholic Church. She spent five weeks
in Minnesota, learning various skits, honing her small group
techniques, and becoming a part of her traveling retreat team.
Her team, consisting of ten young adults ages 18-25 and a couple of
adult chaperones, spent the following nine months living out of
suitcases and backpacks. Luckily, Gabrielle was rather petite, so
her clothes didn't take up a lot of room. She had a storage cabinet
at NET headquarters to store her seasonal clothing since she
wouldn't know from one month to the next where she would be.
Gabrielle's team traveled throughout the United States, putting on
retreats for Junior and Senior High youth. The length of the
retreats varied from one night to all weekend, but most nights
involved a different city, a different parish, and a different group
of teens than the night before. Host families at each stop fed and
lodged the team. She soon learned that she better like Sloppy Joes
and pizza!
Gabrielle eagerly looked forward to that next phase of her journey,
both the literal one and the figurative one. She knew the world
extended beyond the county line and couldn't wait to see new parts
of the country. She had grown up in South Carolina and had
experienced Ohio winters, but not Minnesota winters! She hoped to
get the chance to visit New York and California, and was looking
forward to seeing the varied cultures our diverse country holds.
What would happen after NET? She wasn't sure. All she was sure of is
that God would let her know.
Editor's Note: Interested in learning more about NET
Ministries? Visit their website at
http://www.netusa.org/.
What happened after NET? After her year with NET,
Gabrielle became a nanny. She is now working for a courier company
in Charlotte. She loves her job and is enjoying living on her own.
About the author...
Lancaster resident, Kim Blum-Hyclak, has homeschooled three of her
five children over the past 20+ years. She has seen many changes in
homeschooling over those years and believes homeschooling has been
one of the most rewarding experiences she's had. Kim's youngest is
now a high school senior and is entering his local public high
school for the first time this year. As Kim's years
of homeschooling are coming to an end, she is looking
forward to doing more writing, gardening, and learning of her own.
Raise Children With a
Wild Streak
by Mark Pruett
A new report from the American Academy of Pediatrics stresses the
importance of childhood playtime. It reinforces my own belief that
many young adults have been cheated by years of excessive schoolwork
and teamwork, too many extracurricular activities, and a
straitjacketed "just say no to anything risky" upbringing. I am
convinced that modern childhood generally does not build enough
independence and thirst for knowledge.
For the past few years I helped interview high school seniors
seeking scholarships to come to Appalachian State University. These
applicants come from all over the state. They play instruments and
sports, participate in church and charity, and work in diverse jobs.
They also display remarkably similar accomplishments. They are at
the top of their high school classes and possess generically good
manners. They lead teams, groups and clubs. They are smart, solid
and hardworking.
They might be surprised to learn that I, like many college
professors, yearn for rarer traits -- curiosity, passion, a wild
streak. Yes, teamwork and leadership skills will help your child to
implement someone else's ideas, and extensive extracurricular
activities will foster responsibility. What your child really needs,
though, is an inventive, self-reliant, restless spirit.
The key questions
For me, the heart-wrenching interview moment is when we ask these
teenagers what they would choose to do on a day spent alone. Many
say they never have the chance. Worse still, some have no answer at
all. This should disturb and sadden any parent. In the end, my
scholarship votes ride on two questions: Is this someone that I'd be
excited to have in my class? And is he or she open to being changed
by my class? Class rank and extracurricular activities are less
important than genuine individuality or enthusiasm. It matters not
whether someone is bold or shy, worldly or naïve. Is there a flash
of determination, a streak of independence, a creative passion, an
excited curiosity?
We need more students like the ones who leave after graduation to
work as missionaries or in the Peace Corps. More like the ones who
start successful businesses while in school. More like the ones who
find the courage to go overseas for a summer or a semester because
they know their own worlds are far too small.
Some students are team players and high achievers, but I'd trade
them for stubbornly creative iconoclasts. Some students as children
were taught to color inside the lines, watch Barney the purple
dinosaur, and always ask permission. We need students who found out
what Crayons tasted like, loved reading "The Cat in the Hat" and
paid little attention to rules -- students whose parents encouraged
their children's curiosity.
Something's missing
The irony is that many students begin to perceive late in college
that they've missed something along the way. They regret not taking
risks with difficult professors, unusual courses or semesters
abroad. They berate themselves by equating self-worth with grades,
and they are saddened by the realization that they have only
glimpsed the breadth of the university. They begin to grasp that
their uncomfortable sense of passivity has its roots in the highly
controlled existence foisted on them.
Parents: love, guide and support your children, but don't insulate
them, control them or let them be too busy. Independence, confidence
and creativity come from freedom, risk and a good measure of
unstructured solitude.
Encourage studying but make them play hooky, too -- partly to learn
what it feels like to be unprepared and partly to foster
spontaneity, irreverence and joy. Study chemistry together, then
blow up a television in the backyard.
Foster camaraderie and connectedness through group activities
(especially family ones), but be unyielding in your commitment to
teaching them to love doing things entirely on their own. Make each
child plan and cook the family's dinner on his or her own once a
week.
Surround them with books, not video games. Raise a garden or build a
deck together. Send them on solo trips.
However you choose to do it, give your children, their teachers and
society one of the greatest gifts of all: Help your kids become
creative, independent, curious, interesting people.
About the author...
Mark Pruett is an assistant professor in the Walker College of
Business at Appalachian State University. Write him at
pruettmw@appstate.edu.
Reprinted with permission of the author and The Charlotte
Observer. Copyright owned by The Charlotte Observer.
