kid troubles

[duboisa]

I need some help with an issue. I am having a disrespect and attitude problem with my oldest and it is trickling down to my youngest.. they are mouthy, mean to each other and generally have poor attitudes.. any one have any suggestions.

[chrispeters]

How old are your kids?

[duboisa]

they are 12 ( my oldest has adhd) and 7 ( he has about a 2 year delay with reading etc, due mostly to health issues and the public school system). Most of the time they are good kids but man when they get going..............

[raven4487]

I put my kids "in the chair" for the same minutes they are old like the 12 year old is 12 minutes. They hate having to sit for that long. If they don't cooperate they get a minute for as many times they get up. My daughter spent 30 minutes one time believe me when i say chair she goes with no problem now for 7 minutes. then i make them apologize to each other and say one thing that they love about each other. (they hate that) By then the situation is diffused and we hopefully move on until the next round. Make sure they are not near each other in the chairs. If that doesn't work it is off to seperate rooms when I have enough. Some days I can take it others I wish the was no law against murder of young children. just kidding. sometimes you need to just walk away and have them fight it out as long as no one gets hurt. Most times you will end up angry all day and they are over in 5 minutes believe me been there done that. Hope this helps I have kids that are 15,9, and 7 and some times the 15 year old is a bigger problem than the little ones. :rolleyes2

[Dianna]

Angie, when my children tend to get cranky I usually use a couple of strategies. I tell them in a sad voice... "You guys must really be bored or you wouldn't be treating each other this way. Don't worry, though... I'll take care of that right now. Billy, you go and empty the dishwasher and put the dishes away. Sam, you go empty the dryer, fold the clothes and put them away. When you're both finished, please let me know if you're still bored and I'll give you something else to do." (This also works for children who whine "I'm bored!". My kids very rarely tell me they're bored anymore! :lol: )

Or I'll say, "Gee... you guys must really be tired or you wouldn't be so cranky. Go to your rooms for some quiet time. When you feel less cranky, you may come out." (If they share a room, send them to two separate areas where they can't see or hear each other.) They'll get bored after a while and will want to play with each other more peacefully.

Whatever discipline strategies you use, be consistent. Sometimes we get so tired and frustrated it's just easier to ignore the problem, and that just makes it so much worse. Follow through, even if it takes more time and energy right then. In the long run, they'll be better behaved and you won't devote nearly as much time to their discipline as in the beginning.

Sorry for the rambling, but I hope I helped in some way.

Warmly,
Dianna

[Ksenia]

Thanks all! I get these problems too. I will be trying your techniques tommorow. I am sure I will get plenty of opportunities.:rolleyes2 As usual!

[duboisa]

me too.. they ahve been a little better the past few days.. i just sometimes wanna go AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.. but those are all good scare tactics (LOL).. i will try them asap!!!

Thanks, everyone.