Problems, problems, problems

[mommaadams]

Hey Ya'll! This is probably gonna be long, but I need advice. First off, I want everyone to know that this is my first year of homeschooling (after 2 months of wading through public school :mad2: ). However, these are my problems: 1) I enlisted my mother-in-law to help tutor my DD while in public school and because I know she needs the money I kept her on when I began homeschooling. However, this woman is driving me and my DD insane. She tells me how I should do this and how I should do that. She is trying to take over on when and what my child learns and how she learns it. When I try to talk to her about it, she cries!!! UGGGG! My DD is 10 and has dyslexia along with central auditory processing disorder. They actually fight sometimes over things and I believe that MIL is pushing her to do things far above her capabilities. I can't seem to reason with her and my DD doesn't want her to teach her anymore. I need help!
2) From October (when I started HS) till now I have been teaching my DD language and math from worksheets and various other books. For example for LA I was using Classic Language Primary and for Math I was using simple workbooks and flashcards to TRY and teach multiplication. However, now I have switched LA to a complete workbook for 3rd grade and she seems to be able to do this better and for Math I also switched to a complete workbook for 3rd grade. However, multiplication is NOT happening here. She cannot grasp the concept. She is frustrated beyond belief! I told her that it is a matter of memorizing (am I wrong on this? It is how I learned this). Anyway, we have been "working" on multiplication now since October and we can only do 5's and 10's, maybe 11's (of course 0's and 1's). I am upset because I thought we would be on division by now and I feel like I am failing in this area big time! What am I to do? She wants to learn this and wants to learn through summer because she wants to be in 5th grade by Fall. She hates the fact that these things are hard for her. She wants to be "where she supposed to be". She was kept back in Kindergarten because they didn't know what was wrong and now is a year "behind". She has problems reading, but this is getting better, but she is also frustrated with this. Due to dyslexia it is hard for her to read what she sees because what she sees is not what is there (does that make sense?). She will probably always have problems reading, but like i said this is better. I know i did the right thing by taking her out of public school because they weren't teaching her a thing, but I feel I might not be doing any better.

Any advice is good advice. She is a wonderful child with a brilliant mind. She writes wonderfully albiet very slowly and I believe this is due to the fact that she is making sure she is getting the letters correct...maybe due to the dyslexia? Simple things throw her off, but complex things seem to make better sense to her. I am so lost here.

Thanks for listening,
Tennille

[elizawill]

wow - sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now....especially with your first year of homeschooling!! hang in there though :biggrin2: . things will work themselves out...eventually.

as for your mother-in-law, maybe you could respectfully speak to your husband and see if he would gently talk to her (sounds like she may be sensitive, so I say "gently" as your not trying to create conflict but rather resolve it). since it's his mom, she may do better listening to what needs to be said and done in this situation. also, she may feel more comfortable talking to her son and voicing her thoughts about everything, etc. i hope everything works out for you!!! i'm sure it will. i'll say a prayer for you tonight :wave:

amy

[Dianna]

Tennille, I think Amy gave you great advice about dealing with your mother-in-law, so I won't go there. If what she suggested doesn't work, then come back and we'll go from there.

Regarding multiplication - if your daughter has dyslexia, multiplication and division are going to be tough for her, as are any multi-step problems. In your post, you're talking about multiplication facts, right? She's having problems learning them? If so, you may want to check into Times Tales (see my reviews area for more info about it - http://www.carolinahomeschooler.com/reviews.htm )

I hope this helps!

Warmly,
Dianna

[Marywood]

Hi, Tennille,
I just have a few thoughts for you, because my son is doing 4th grade and also has a central auditory processing disorder.
First of all, the first year coming out of school (public or private) is an adjustment for everyone so please don't let ups and downs discourage you. For us, it was a year of experimentation, trying different approaches, schedules, locations---everything, so the situation with your MIL really is just part of that. Everyone has a different teaching style and maybe hers is simply not what is needed by your daughter at this particular time but will work out just fine later on.
Second, maybe you could take an early spring break or give your daughter a February "term", a week or two where the two of you study something special, learn a new skill, or do short "field trips" to local places. Then, after this "term" is over, you return to your classroom but maybe with a new approach (and new teacher?)

My other thought is about teaching math. Many times kids with auditory processing disorders learn this type of info more easily if there is a rhyme scheme to it; would you consider using one of the "school house rocks" type tapes that sets the multiplication tables to music? The other way to teach this is as "fast addition", you know, 3x4 is really 4+4+4, etc. My son's memory skills are pretty good, but I've noticed he still will "add on" to reach any factor he can't remember (if he can't remember what 7x8 is he'll go back to 5x8 and add 8 and then 8 more). Also, you may want to cover many different "strands" of math each week, so that your daughter will remember how well she did with, say, subtracting with regrouping or geometry or probability or whatever, and not feel that since multiplication is giving her a challenge, that she "hates math" or "isn't good at math".

Finally, please don't beat yourself up about this; learning math is much like learning reading in that everyone learns (and by that I mean really "gets" it) at their own pace. That's the glory of homeschooling!
Hope this helps,
Mary Ann

[catwoman]

Hi,
I am having the same problems in math with my 11 year old son! It is also the beginning of our homeschooling journey.We spent an entire semester on the multiplication tables because he coulden't "get" them either.He has LOTS of problems with his attention span,it's insanely short....so boring,repetitive stuff is hard for him to focus on.We did finially master the stupid multiplication tables,and have moved on to long division.Take heart,if we can do it,anyone can!!!It has been a long,frustrating thing for me,but my husband has been really supportive.Also,we want him to master these things,so as long as he needs,we gave him.To be honest,that has been my focus,instead of "where he should be."Just think of where he might be if still stuck in school...(in the principal's office) and where I might be (in an insane asylum!!!!)
As for your mother in law,my advice will probably be different than others.My mother in law made life difficult for me for years,and was always OPENLY critical of me.But then last month we lost her to terminal cancer,it's hard for me to even write about it....anyway,if your MIL is helping at all,at least she's supporting you in action,if not in words.Tell her you love her and how much you appreciate her help.And how she is hurting your DD's feelings....and making her sad.Tell her that you know that she dosen't mean to do that,and that you can work this out together.I wish I had done that instead of just avoid myMIL,wich seemed at the time the only way to avoid conflict,and not hurt my husband.I wish you luck,and can relate to your struggles,Aimee