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2homeschool1

cant take it

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2homeschool1

I am helping a homeschool teen by tutoring her in a couple subjects her senior year. I know the family well. I am not being paid for this. At the onset of doing this, I laid out rules about tardiness, cell phone usage etc to mom and student. I am tired of the lack of respect, late everyday with excuses, text msgs from the mom to student while we are working, drama drama. In appropriate topics of conversation, etc. The more I associate with the teen, the less I as an adult want to be around them. I reiterated the importance of being on time and no interruptions and it falls on deaf ears. I care about the kid, but I feel I am being taken advantage of. It is also affecting my homeschooling my own child. Part of this is venting, yet I feel for my own sanity I have to get out of this situation, but not sure how to without damaging the friendship ( for a lack of a better word)

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Dianna

I hope others come in to share their views, but I think the first mistake is not charging for your services. As a society, we've been "trained" not to value anything that's free. I used to offer free writing classes online and parents would sign their students up (taking up the limited spots in the class), then many of their students wouldn't participate, or would turn assignments in late and still expect me to evaluate it, etc., etc. I started charging for the same exact course, and it was totally different. Students would participate fully, turn in assignments on time, and it was just a better experience all the way around.

 

If you're not charging for your services, they're (maybe subconsciously?) not valuing what you're doing, and that's where the problem is coming in. My feeling is if you start charging, and only providing services for the time you scheduled (stopping on time, even if that means you'll only tutor for 5 minutes because they showed up 55 minutes late for the hour you scheduled), then they'll either start respecting your time and services, or they'll end the tutoring themselves and you won't have to.

 

So, set an hourly fee, set a strict schedule, don't accommodate them outside of that timeframe, tell them your (and their) time is valuable and the student's cellphone is becoming a distraction for both of you, so from now on you'll take it away the first time someone calls or texts during your tutoring session and give it back to her at the end. (Power it down in the meantime.) If the mom picks her up late, explain that it'll be an extra $10 (or more, you decide) for every 5 minutes she's late, with no tutoring done during that time. The student will just sit and wait for her parent while you move on to other things.

 

If you'd prefer to just get out of the tutoring completely, explain that you no longer have time to tutor because you need to focus on your own student and are planning more field trips, etc., and can't commit.

 

I hope this helps. Take what you like and throw out the rest. :)

 

Warmly,

Dianna

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kohlby

I'd back out of it.  I'd tell them that you're finding you're unable to homeschool your own child with the extra tutoring responsibilities so you need to stop them.  You can suggest some local tutoring services that they could use if you know of any as well.

 

For the next time, I'd charge.  If it's a friend, then you can always give them a lower rate than one would normally charge.  (Or exchange services, like you tutor their child and they babysit yours).

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2homeschool1

Thank you both for some good advice!!

Edited by 2homeschool1

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